A to Z – Get To Know Me Survey

I have not done a survey on my blog yet and saw this one and thought it would be fun! So here is a quick and interesting way for you all to get to know me a little better! (: Enjoy!
A – Age: 24
B – Biggest Fear: Fish and disappointing others
C – Current Time: 8:00pm
D – Drink You Had Last: Finished off my gallon of water for the day
E – Easiest Person To Talk To: Ryan and my mom for sure
F – Favorite Song: Right now I am obsessed with “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons & “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez

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G – Gnarliest Injury: Motorcycle accident in 2010. I was the passenger and the bike went down on the right side. Tore my knee open, dislocated (we think) my shoulder, broke a few fingers and bones in my hand, hairline fractured my elbow, slight concussion. Still have shoulder issues to this day….
H – Hometown: Wenatchee, Washington. Born and raised and still live here. It is the most amazing little valley surrounded on all sides by gorgeous mountains

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I – In Love With: Ryan….and my two furbabies
J – Jealous Of: People who make a living traveling the world
K – Kindest Person You Know: Definitely my mom…there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for someone if she can.
L – Longest Relationship: Going on 6 years ❤
M – Middle Name: Raylene
N – Number of Siblings: Only child over here!
O – One Wish: To be able to see as much of the world as I possibly can while I can
P – Person You Spoke To On The Phone Last: Brianna (:

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Q – Question You’re Always Asked: Is that your natural hair color?
R – Reason To Smile: Right now would be that the weather is finally starting to feel like summer….but there are SO MANY reasons to smile
S – Song You Last Sang: “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons
T – Time You Woke Up: First around 5:30am when Ryan got up by I got out of bed around 6:05am
U – Underwear Color: Ummmm…..nude lol
V – Vacation Destination: Japan was so amazing. I want to go back to Nicaragua so badly. But I also want to visit New York, Paris, and Australia!

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W – Worst Habit: Biting my fingernails. I know it’s a disgusting habit!
X – X-Rays You’ve Had: More than I can even begin to remember………
Y – Your Favorite Food: A big juicy burger or homemade pizza
Z – Zodiac Sign: Libra

Why I postponed my bikini comp…

The title pretty much gives it away here. This last weekend was the Cascadian Classic, the show that I prepped 22 weeks for. The one where I was supposed to walk across stage in a teeny tiny bikini and strut my hard work for a panel of judges next to lots of other girls. But I wasn’t there.

I made a collective decision with my coach to postpone. After 22 weeks of dieting my body was not responding the way it should have been. I had been doing SO  good, but my body was fighting back. That mixed with some health issues, we decided for my overall and long term health it was best to take a little time off.

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I was never doing this show for anyone else. So I had nobody to disappoint or let down. I was doing this for me and I want my health to be there for me in the long run, so I made the best choice for myself. Yes I was sad I wasn’t going to be competing, but the stage will always be there. I will have SO many more chances to walk up there and show off months and weeks of hard work. My health comes first.

I do not have another goal show in mind at this point. But I am thinking I will start prepping in January 2018 and work towards another spring show. I do not plan on reverse dieting from where I am because I am not stage lean and I feel that I am at a happy place with my body. So I will maintain, maybe work on a little more fat loss and muscle development, but I am happy here.

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Since my decision I have been enjoying life and working hard. Had a fun camping trip this weekend with great friends and family. Went on hikes and walks and adventures. Shared stories and laughs and drinks.

I plan on enjoying my summer mindfully. We are taking a trip to Texas next month for Ryan’s family reunion. That is my motivation right now to stay healthy and keep my body at a comfortable and happy place.

Remember that it is okay to “fail”. It is okay to change your mind. It is okay to need more time. It is okay to focus on yourself. This applies to anything in life. Keep going, keep moving, keep your head up, and you will get to where you are meant to be!

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Dear Deadbeat…

Dear Deadbeat.

Happy Anniversary! It has been 5 years now. Can you believe that 5 years ago you spent about an hour on the phone with me telling me what a worthless, useless, embarrassing piece of shit I was? Calling me all sorts of names. Attacking me for all the wrongs you committed, making them my fault as usual. It has been 5 years since you broke a promise. Since you disowned me. Since you told me you wanted nothing to do with me. Since you decided I was no longer worthy. Since you shamed me for my depression, and when I told you that you were the biggest reason for it, you laughed.

You laughed. 

I was crushed. Do you have any idea how broken you made me? Of course you don’t. You only “reach out” twice a year. Sending me a birthday & Christmas card with a small check in it. How thoughtful of you. Sometimes you even write “Love Dad” in it. HA! It usually makes me chuckle before I toss it into the garbage, so thanks for that at least.

Love. Psh. It still makes me laugh.

You broke me. You picked me up, shattered me on the ground, left me there broken in a thousand little pieces, stomped on me for good measure, and walked away. You never looked back. You just left me there. Good news though. I am unbreakable. Remember all those shitty things you said to me? Remember hitting me when I was younger? Remember all the threats you used to SCREAM at me? I saved all of those. All of those times are now the glue that hold me together. No, they are cement. All those words and screams and hits, they are what made me strong. When I feel weak, I think of you.

I will NEVER be as weak as you.

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend I thought it would be the perfect time to thank you for all of this. Mother’s Day is the opposite of Father’s Day, and since you are the total opposite of a real father I felt it was perfect. So thank you for being a terrible father. Thank you for being a total deadbeat. Thank you for walking out on me. Thank you for not caring. Thank you for turning my family against me. Thank you for showing me what a real man is NOT like.

Because let’s be real here, you are no real man.

I am not going to tell you that you are the reason I am so strong. That would be giving you wayyyyyy too much credit. But because of you I decided to be strong. I did not want to be the broken girl. So with the help of people who truly cared for me, I collected all those shattered pieces you left. I used all those shitty things you said and did to me, and I pieced myself back together. I am happy. I smile. Look at me now.

Look. At. Me. Now.

So here’s to you Deadbeat. A day just for you (since it has always been about you anyways). Go ahead and celebrate. You make an amazing deadbeat dad.

Happy Mother’s Day to the complete opposite of a Father!

Life With Crazy Allergies…

I am sure many of you are familiar with seasonal allergies. Runny nose, itchy puffy eyes, scratchy throat. Most people have some form or another of seasonal allergies. But what most people don’t usually get…..anaphylaxis from these allergies. That’s right folks, full blown anaphylactic shock from fucking pollen. Now there are TONS of people who have anaphylaxis to lots of different things. Food, peanuts, medicines, etc. Sucks doesn’t it?

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The loop trail. Innocent in the winter……deadly in the summer. My favorite.

Well two years ago this week I had my first anaphylaxis attack down on the loop trail, on Mother’s Day of all days. That was when we realized how bad my seasonal allergies were. Since then they have only gotten worse. Well yesterday I went in for my first round of allergy shots. This is where they inject you with a small dose of the things you are allergic to, twice a week, to let your body start to build up an immunity. Well…20 minutes after my shots and the anaphylaxis had set in. Insanely dizzy, couldn’t breath, throat swelling shut, 88% oxygenated, all the fun stuff. So 3 hours and 2 epi shots later I finally headed home to sleep it off.

I ate some food and took a good long nap but I was exhausted the rest of the night. Getting an injection of epinephrine (aka adrenaline) is basically like running a marathon, and I got two of those bad boys so I was BEAT! It took all my energy to not fall asleep standing up. I slept really well last night thankfully and felt a bit better this morning.

The craziest thing that the doc told me was that in his 20+ years as an allergist in this town, he has never seen someone have an anaphylactic reaction to pollen. Not that I am surprised, I am known for always being in the 1%. Yay me right?

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The crappiest part of these allergies is that we love to take our pups down to the loop trail, but I can’t really go down there. The East Wenatchee side of the trail is lined with sheet grass and trees and other grasses and shit I can’t be around.

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So now we have to look into this infusion drug to help with my allergies as a last ditch effort. Fun shit. But I am plugging along. Taking my allergy meds, using my inhaler, and sprayin’ my nose spray. If you have allergies, take care of yourself. This shit knocks you out! Breathe easy my friends!

First Hike Of The Year

Sooooo I get seasonal allergies. Like bad. Like if I touch or go near most grasses or wild shrubbery, the beginning signs of anaphylaxis kick in. It’s super fun.

But I decided to take my chances today and go for a hike up Saddle Rock. When I was in high school, I would do this hike at least once a week, weather permitting. And then for some reason I stopped that. I cannot guarantee I will be able to go that frequently, but I am going to start hiking it again as much as I can.

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Saddle Rock is such a beautiful part of the Wenatchee Valley. This time of year all the wildflowers are blooming and the sagebrush is a bright shade of pastel green. My lungs are struggling the whole way up, but when I look around I am distracted by the beauty of this place and almost forget I can’t breathe. I said almost..

My two fur faces joined me as well and they had a blast. But they are also out of shape. The lazy pups for for walks and hikes all the time, but make them hike a steep climb in easy spring heat and they get all tuckered out. Wimps. Just kidding everyone calm down. I took them two full water bottles and forced them to drink every 10 minutes or so. They also did some modeling for me.

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Hiking has always been a stress reliever for me. No matter how shitty my lungs may work or how slow I may be some days, I always feel so at peace after a hike. Especially one that ends in this amazing of a view. It’s cathartic for me. It centers me. I tend to get stuck inside my own head a lot, and when I hike I am able to just let my mind free.

The fact that this view needs no editing or touching up just goes to show you what a beautiful place we live in. And this is right outside our back door!

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First Hike

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